Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dealing with postpartum depression and postpartum preeclampsia

Yesterday I wrote my first blog ever and it felt so good to actually write about everything. So today I feel good about writing about the complications I had after my pregnancy. Right after I gave birth to Lana I did get to hold her for a while but then they took her away to to see why she wasn't crying as much and because she was a little pale. Come to find out she had some extra fluid in her lungs so she ended up going to the NICU. I ended up going to another room having to anxiously wait on the Dr. to give me some answers. He finally came in and explained to us that she was having some respiratory problems and that they were going to give her treatment for pneumonia and that she was going to have to stay in the NICU for 7 days. My heart just dropped to the floor. I could not believe that this was happening to my baby and that she wasn't going home with us when I got discharged. The next 2 days were a little hard for me. I imagined my pregnancy and labor to go smoothly. Now I was sitting in this empty room with no baby and it was just heart breaking for me.

The day I was discharged was a hard day for me. I knew I wasn't going home with Lana and that was really hard for me to deal with. The good thing was that I was going to be able to do the boarding program. I would be able to stay in a room upstairs with her and they would just have to come in to check her vitals and give her antibiotics. I wasn't able to get a room until Sunday and it was only Wednesday, so that to me seemed like forever. Right when we got into the car and drove home I was already missing her. I cry'ed when we got to the house and pretty much through the whole day. The next day we went to go see her and I got to feed her for the first time =) When we got back to the house I started to miss her really bad and I was pretty much to myself trying not to cry but it just didn't work. I just wanted to go to sleep already so I could see her the next day. Friday and Saturday was pretty much the same way as Thursday, we got to see her and feed her and my husband changed his first diaper! And then we got home, I kept to myself again and crying. Finally Sunday came around and I couldn't be any happier. Even though I wasn't taking her home yet at least we were going to be in the same room with each other. I got to the room around 5 pm and they brought her up around 6. It was so great to see her and when the nurses left I just picked her up and held her in my arms. The first night with her was pretty hard. She sure does let you know when she's hungry or when her diaper needs a changing. I did not get to sleep at all that night. I held her pretty much the whole night until the next morning. The next night was a lot easier. Tuesday finally came and she was going home that day. I had to bring her back to the NICU so she could get discharged but that didn't happen till about 2 pm. So I had to wait for a phone call from them to let me know that I could come get her. I met my husband at the hospital and we raced right up to the NICU and we took home our little girl.
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The next day I decided that I wanted to go out and do some shopping. So we decided that we would go on base to pick up a few things and to get our cell phone charger that I had left in the room. So while I was getting ready I felt this gush of fluid. I was already bleeding from the episiotomy but this just didn't feel right. I decided to go to the E.R. to see if everything was ok, they took my blood pressure but they really didn't say much to me about it. They called me back to see the Dr. and he checked my bleeding and he said that everything was fine. He said that he wasn't worried about my bleeding but was worried about how high my blood pressure was. He then explained to me that I was probably going to be admitted into the hospital. I was taken to the back where I was put on a bed and hooked up to a bp machine. One of the Dr's that was in the room with me when I was delivering came to see me and explained to me that I had to be admitted for postpartum preeclampsia. I really wasn't sure what that was but she told me it was from high blood pressure after pregnancy. I came to find out that my bp was around 180 and normal bp is 110-120, so that was really high, in the Dr's own words " sky rocketing". I wasnt allowed to walk to my room just in case I would get a stroke or a seizure. How do you react to someone telling you that you could have a stroke or a seizure from this? I was put on a magnesium drip for my bp and a potassium drip as well, since it showed that I was low in that too. All I could think in my head was "why is this happening to me?!" I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and it was no fun. I was drowsy and drugged up from the magnesium drip so I was in bed the whole time. I was only allowed to have beef broth for all 3 meals and juice. Thursday evening they took me off the magnesium drip to see how my bp was. It was pretty steady but went up here and there. Friday morning I felt much better and I was discharged and put on bp medication. It was hard for me to deal with the postpartum preeclampsia. I started getting headaches and I was always so hot. I went to Target by myself the next day, which was a bad idea because when I got in there I started feeling dizzy and shaky and I felt like I was going to pass out. I had to get out of there asap. When I got home I had Mike take my bp and it was 170! I just started crying and then I got a really bad migraine. My head was pounding so hard to where I couldn't even sleep. The days seemed like it was just getting harder for me to deal with. I was always so sad and always crying. I cry'ed almost every day. I had symptoms of depression but was never diagnosed with it, only because I never mentioned it to my Dr.. But I knew in the back of my head that it was postpartum depression. The next couple of weeks I just stayed in the house all day long. I wouldn't go outside because it was too bright for me. My days consisted of me crying, taking medication and checking my blood pressure while taking care of my newborn daughter. So I had a lot on my plate. I just wanted all of this to go away and I didn't know why all of this was happening to me. All I knew was that I wanted things to be normal and for me to be able to to walk around w/out having to worry about my bp getting too high. I just wanted to enjoy my time with Lana.

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